Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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