This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
