The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize