the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
