Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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