I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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