we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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