I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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