Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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