If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
