the day after is always just damage control
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Someone signed my nipple.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize