I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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