dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just had sex on a roof
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
