Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
