I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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