apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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