Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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