im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I enjoy the company of your penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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