Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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