One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
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Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
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In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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