I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
