a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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