She's the barista slut.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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