You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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