Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize