is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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