Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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