Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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