Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
