great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize