I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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