Kiss
Puke
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
