I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
