I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
