I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
