i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.