have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit