if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Two words: nipple clamps
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