Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy