How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.