It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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