I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
