Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
