yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
