It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize