Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it hurts more in the daytime
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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