is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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