thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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