I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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