that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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