Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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