imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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