who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
