Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
