we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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