Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
