I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize