No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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