Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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