Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
